


road work ahead?

by simplesilence



Category: Original Work
Genre: tw: mentions of almost cutting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21609709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplesilence/pseuds/simplesilence
Summary: um yeah, i sure hope it does//rated t for mentions of a razor
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	road work ahead?

me, my grandma’s bathroom floor, shot from above, hands shaking

my hands clasped and head down

pacing pacing pacing

staring at the mirror tearstained

~~ you can’t tell my weight in a sweatshirt ~~

sliding down onto the floor

cut to yellow razor blade in hand

and it’s just hand to hand to hand to hand

cover snapped off, then on again

~~ [redacted] would care too much ~~

~~ [redacted] would kill me because of it ~~

~~ i don’t even know if [redacted] would give a fuck and i wish i didn’t care ~~

~~ [redacted] wouldn’t even believe me ~~

~~ but none of them need to know ~~

door creaks open

cut to muffled yelling, stumbling out of the bathroom, hands shaking

locking myself in a closet, vision blurred

pronouns pronouns pronouns 

i wish i wasn’t replaceable

but she’d get over it if i died

and someone else already proved how replaceable i was

~~ i know time is an illusion but five fucking months and then cheating with one of my best friends?? was it really worth the adrenaline rush? how can i believe that it wasn’t all lies, i’m so fucking replaceable  ~~

lighting back to fuzzy warm tones

my arms around kaitlyn, rocking back and forth as her hands run through my hair, and things are good again

my cousins shout nicknames and i never want this moment to end

this is kind of just turning into me reminding myself of happy moments to make up for the depressing beginning

and there’s a girl now who has a smile like sunbeams

she’s so out of my league and i don’t know how she likes me but holy shit somehow she does

~~ and i don’t think i‘ m just her “other one” ~~

~~ i am so much more than anyone’s other one, and if they can’t see that then i guess it’s their loss ~~

~~ or at least i’ll pretend like it ~~

~~ slightly unrelated but m.g. i fucking love you for that ~~

and j.g. is in town for the weekend

and i think i’m happy that he never met [redacted; pl]

but goddamn i missed him so much and he’s here and so is h.g. and i missed them, i missed them, i missed them

repetition for effect

i missed trampolines and wii sports resort and i missed everything 

//

i don’t know what i am right now

i am made of illusions and experiences

nothing makes sense

i don’t know if i’m happy

everything is bittersweet 

i am not dead yet, i am not dead yet, i am not dead yet


End file.
